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Ok guys need a lot of hugs!!
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| Laura |
Posted on July 21 2010 10:48 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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HAVE MY LAST EVER SESSION WITH MY COUNSELLOR TOMORROW THURSDAY 22ND JULY @ 3PM.
I AM NOW PANICKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| CheshireKat |
Posted on July 22 2010 12:03 AM
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Member
Location: United States
Posts: 1860
Joined: 2008-11-14
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*big hugs* I know you're freaking out right now, but it's going to be okay. I'm glad you decided to make that last appointment with your counselor. You will get the closure you need to move on. It will be very hard and you'll probably cry, but there's nothing wrong with that! You've developed a strong emotional bond with this person over the past several months, it's expected that you wouldn't want this to end, especially so suddenly. Just be totally up front and honest with her about how scared you are to go it alone, and how you are going to miss having her to talk to and help you, etc. She will appreciate it and it will allow her to help you sort through those feelings. Good luck.
"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." - Eric Hoffer |
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| Laura |
Posted on July 22 2010 12:43 AM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Awe thanks Kat,
I know 7 months later and that's it coming to the VERY end. Scared doesn't come into it. FREAKING out sums it up slightly better. Just thinking about it now and its more real. Haven't thought about it since last week as I was being "good" now I am being "bad" in a way as I am making myself upset again. Its came in so quick 1 week/7 days/ 168 hours. WEIRD!!!!!!!!!
Hopefully it goes well
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on July 22 2010 01:54 AM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6136
Joined: 2008-05-25
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7/21/10
Dear Laura,
I'm sorry that you're going through all of the emotional exhaustion that accompanies those feelings. You know that 'I'm on your side', and also that I don't know all the answers. When I read your post, the words "separation anxiety" came to my mind, so I searched for an article on this. I found this one, and I think that it's 'good'. I'll paste the link and just two of the paragraphs,...trying not to fill up our forum's whole 'memory'. I hope this helps. - jus'
http://www.thirda...on-anxiety
Good Riddance to Separation Anxiety!
“…Separation anxiety is a throwback to childhood when we knew we’d die unless someone nurtured our needs. This life-and-death-fear gets triggered by any perception of abandonment within our adult relationships. But once triggered, this fear challenges us to find the adult switch – the reality switch – the one that reminds us that we can stand on our own two feet. We learn to manage the fear by facing rather than fighting our separateness. Protesting our separateness keeps us in the panic and anxiety. The task is to face the “worst case scenario” (the realization of that we are each emotionally alone) and then to realize that we can take care of ourselves. This acceptance must be made, not begrudgingly, but wholeheartedly…”
“…Self-abandonment occurs when we as adults blame ourselves for being left by someone we love, and then we compound it by blaming ourselves for becoming so emotional– for feeling so desperate. All of this leads to self-abandonment. And it is this self abandonment that leads to the loss of self-esteem which is cornerstone of abandonment’s severe depression…”
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| RottieWoman |
Posted on July 22 2010 01:51 PM
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Member
Location: No value
Posts: 3063
Joined: 2008-12-31
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here's another HUG for you, Laura! |
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| Laura |
Posted on July 22 2010 08:58 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey guys,
My session went...... well. I didn't cry nor did my counsellor 
We spoke about me and how I have progressed, what I have learnt throughout my journey and what she has observed from me. I am really gonna miss her. But........... She did say I have her number so I can contact her if needs be. I am thrilled as I thought once I had finished I had to break all contact.............. NOT THE CASE. Thank God!!!
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| CheshireKat |
Posted on July 22 2010 10:14 PM
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Member
Location: United States
Posts: 1860
Joined: 2008-11-14
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Laura, I'm glad to hear that things went well for you! It is great that your counselor told you that you can still maintain some contact with her if you need it, she sounds like a very kind person. I bet it makes you feel a lot better to know that you can still have some communication with her, instead of being cut off completely.
"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." - Eric Hoffer |
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| Laura |
Posted on July 22 2010 10:48 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey Kat,
I am really glad that she has given me that opportunity to ask her again for help if needs be. I feel I have my safety net still there in case I flounder again. I thought I would have to say good bye to her now and that would be that. 7 months gone. But I was completely wrong. I am really happy
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on July 23 2010 01:40 AM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6136
Joined: 2008-05-25
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7/22/10
I'm so glad that she will still be available to you. If you do call her, it will probably be when you are needing help making a decision. And, since she already knows you, and knows your heart, you won't be having to re-invent the wheel when you ask for her opinion. - jus' |
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| Kestrel6 |
Posted on July 23 2010 01:46 PM
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Member
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 448
Joined: 2009-08-26
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Great big kitty hugs from Houston! Now, your challenge is to stick that phone number on your cork board and decide not to use it. WHen you feel the need, look at that number but think to yourself, what would she tell me to do? You'll be surprised how much you'll remember how to fix by yourself. And you've always got US, we're not goin' anywhere!
Blessed are the PURR in heart! |
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| Laura |
Posted on July 23 2010 05:06 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Thanks Just and Kestrel,
I know, I feel sad today that its all over but happy enough to know I have her number. Is it weird to keep her card which has the company she wroks with who work inwith my work(if you guys understood that, that would be a miracle) 
I have kept my bus ticket and also something silly the bus driver gave me and then the card with her head office number on it. I still have her in my phone and I still have her emails and texts she has sent me. Texts say "I will pick you up from......" silly things like that
Haven't cried feeling a tad emotional today but been keeping myself busy at work and then after work.
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on July 23 2010 06:22 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6136
Joined: 2008-05-25
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7/23/10
Dear Laura,
You found a person who treated you like a human-being with feelings. I think you'd been around some people who had neglected to do this,.. and maybe you'd been around them for a long time. You appreciated everything that she did for you. And there are other people in the world who have these same good qualities. This doesn't diminish what a 'nice person' she is. Her friendship will always be special to you. But, now that you know what you're 'looking for', other people with those same good qualities will be easier for you to identify. The people who are 'sociopaths' will be easier to identify, too!!! ;) - jus' |
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| CheshireKat |
Posted on July 23 2010 06:45 PM
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Member
Location: United States
Posts: 1860
Joined: 2008-11-14
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Jus brings up a good point, which is that we tend to get really attached to our therapists because they are such validating people. They acknowledge our feelings and accept us unconditionally, which is really what we ALL want at the end of the day... someone to take us for who we are and accept us like that, someone who doesn't try to change us or point out all of our flaws.
So it is hard when you feel like you're very connected to this person, but you know rationally that they are a professional doing their job, not your friend. There is a professional boundary there, they can't be your friend AND your therapist. But you can find friends who are LIKE your therapist, in that they have those good qualities - understanding, non-judgmental, accepting of you as you are.
"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." - Eric Hoffer |
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| Laura |
Posted on July 23 2010 07:54 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Thanks guys,
I know you are both right... Its hard to see the bigger picture. I think my friends I have kept with exception to 2 are good friends. Mind you no-one has asked how I am or how my session went but hey ho!!
I have kinda formed a relatioship with another woman at work she is in her laate 20's. I have always gotten on with her and she has been caring towards me the odd text "how are you?" and when I see her in work she ALWAYS speaks to me. She is going home to Poland for 3 weeks on Sunday and she asked me yesterday if I wanted to do Breakfast tomorrow morning (Saturday). I was really pleased. So I have made a new friend at work
I think it helps when you lose a Counsellor(friend/professional/mother figure/psychologist/doctor) you will naturally feel a bit crap. I did see her as a mother figure as she treated me fairly and I had no compettitions with anyone else. I am not self-fish I am the youngest of 3. But I DID enjoy the 1-3 hours all alone with her. Be it in my flat, in the house where she holds her sessions or out at the riverside. I knew I had a reason to get up for during the crappy days and I always looked forward to them even when we did speak about things I really didn't want to speak about or felt embarrassed/ashamed etc.
We laughed the last time I saw her before yesterday.... She was saying when your talking to someone and you can see that person is struggling emotionally or mentally changed the subject and do a random conversation. For example at the riverside my Counsellor would if I was struggling/distressed/anxious/angry/upset etc talk about the seagulls and the boats and the river and passing birds. She would go directly opposite to what we were talking about. As she says its all Psychology techniques. It helped me cope too as she was distracting me which I needed. There are still things my Counsellor doesn't know but that's cause I have always thought they were irrelevant about me and my situation at the mo. I am still worried in case I go back the way I came. I so hope I don't. I need to learn the triggers/signs and I guess in time I will. I have only been ill for well roughly 7 months. But we think I have been ill for at least 10 if not more years.
A friend of mines a very good friend and I were speaking last night and I asked her if she thought I was bipolar as she was also one of the first to look through my depression just like you Kat. She said she thinks I am just with the fact my moods flucuate and the fact my highs are VERY hyper and manic. But I don't have many days like that esp recently as I have had to be professional in work as I am working hard to prove myself in there. So they see I am well and that I am giving 110% and that I do know my job and do it well. Everyone thinks I am nuts but I have to do it. So anyways bipolar seems to be sticking Kat.... Still in the mind frame of not wanting a diagnois but at the same time I do so I know whats actually wrong wirh me as I am getting frustrated no-one professional wise knows whats up with me. If only I had a crystal ball
Anyways sorry for talking still on a high from today I spent 4 hours cleaning non stop in one of my service users houses while he was on a family trip gutted everything and cleaned everything and everywhere
THANK YOU GUYS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR BEING HERE FOR ME THOUGH SOMETIMES WELL MOST TIMES MY FRIENDS HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON IN MY HEAD OR WITH ME...... IRONICALLY YOU ALL KNOW WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE I SPEAK TO NOW HAHA!!!!
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| CheshireKat |
Posted on July 25 2010 10:46 PM
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Member
Location: United States
Posts: 1860
Joined: 2008-11-14
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Laura, it sounds like you're taking the "loss" of your counselor very well, all things considered. I'm really glad. I'm also glad that you've made friends with that woman at your work, that's great! The more friends you have at work to surround yourself with and socialize with, the better. I am starting to make better friends with my coworkers, which always makes work a lot more fun.
Most of my coworkers are guys though so it is harder to forge meaningful relationships with them because most of what they talk about is "dude stuff", haha. One of them is a pretty smart, introspective guy though and we have some good conversations while we're closing up at night. They're all math-oriented people though... one of them is about to finish his degree in Business Management, while the other is in the last year of an Engineering degree! Another co-worker is going to school to get her degree in Accounting... I am definitely the oddball non-math person at my job.
Laura, whether or not you're bipolar, the label doesn't matter. I know it's hard to see past a label sometimes, but it really doesn't, just like being labeled as "dyscalculic" doesn't change who we are as people. It's just one more thing you have to learn to accept, live with, and deal with as best as you can. When I was first diagnosed as bipolar I spent about 6 months shaking my head and saying, "My psychiatrist is crazier than I am, there's no way I'm bipolar." But the more I looked at myself through her objective lens, the more I was able to see how right she was. I have since been to see a different psychiatrist who she referred me to, one who specializes in mood disorders, and his opinion was the same - bipolar disorder. There's no escaping it, so I've come to accept it. In some ways it was almost a relief, once I got past the denial stage. It was a relief to know that there was a reason for why I felt, and more importantly that there was a treatment that could make me feel much, much better. If having that label means getting the right medication and feeling normal for the first time in my life, then I'm okay with that!
"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." - Eric Hoffer |
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| Laura |
Posted on July 26 2010 09:31 AM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey Kat,
Thank you sooo much for saying that. I am dealing really well with not having her. I have visions of her in my head so I pull on them if I am stuck at something or feeling low and think right what would she say. I miss her and I think I always will miss her as she is my 1st ever Counsellor. Memories....
I speak to everyone at work... But I only let certain people in. I am dubious of people now. They have to earn my trust and I have to be able to earn their trust and confidentiality. My "new" friend is great she was texting me once every week to make sure I was ok and if I wanted to meet up. She seems to "get" me which is VERY rare btw
Awwwww I use to work with loads of guys too and that was a bit of a nightmare when you need "girl talk" but least you ahve friends that's definately the main thing.
The label doesn't matter I just want a definate answer yes or no I am needing it so I know what I can do to help myself as at the moment I am kinda drowning in ways to help myself. Ye I think learning to accept whatever diagnoisis etc will hopefully be given will take A LOT of time to adjust to. When my GP told me I had sever depression I refused to have that stigma. I refused to believe it. But now I can openly say I have depression. Took less than a year for me to learn that. I really get your last part Kat "If having a label means getting the right medication and feeling normal for the first time in my life, then I'm okay with that!"
THINK YOU SUMMED UP WHAT I NEED AND WHAT I THINK EVERYONE NEEDS IF IN A PICKLE(DILEMMA)
I like the fact you see/know where I am coming from and that helps me to feel "safe" and makes me feel better inside. I need constant reassurance I have notice which is frustarating but I guess its part of my "illness"
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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