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Hey guys!!
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| Laura |
Posted on November 12 2010 01:40 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey Just,
Thank you!!
Its been a weird "journey" since my last post in October.... not having the stability I thought I would of had by now. But hopefully soon enough. Need to wait for another week then I will have my Psych app. Just want answers at the moment. I am pretty confused over what I want and what is going on etc. Its a mad time
Thank you for saying you scroll down and see if I have posted... that has made me smile today  that is sooo nice of you!!
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| Laura |
Posted on November 23 2010 02:07 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey guys,
I have just came back from a Psych appointment. I have been given new med. I have to go see Psych again in 4weeks.
I have had an up and down rollercoaster month so far. Been quite sad recently lots of crying for unknown reasons etc. Just getting sick of things now. Still in denial and all that jazz... can't seem to get my head around the diagnosis and the implications in my life and all the things I need to think about and do in order to live a relatively good life.
Still working away... been at work for 6 months today actually STRESSFUL and HARD but I can do this I know I can... I have proven it I think
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on November 23 2010 02:37 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6103
Joined: 2008-05-25
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11/23/10
Dear Laura,
Those six months have just flown by, haven't they? I'm glad that you've been able to stay with it so long, despite your health issues. I'm in my last semester of my two-year degree. It will end in about 6 weeks. I plan to try to stay at the same two-year college for one more semester after completing my two-year degree. There are three classes that I can still take there, that will transfer to the four-year college. It's cheaper for me to take those classes at the two-year college. At the four-year college, for example, we have to pay $100 for parking for the semester (or maybe this is for two semesters, I'm not sure).
Do you cook at home? Some mothers like to keep their kitchens to themselves. Right now, I'm cooking some soybeans. They came 'in the pod', in small, plastic containers, frozen. I rinse them, then throw them into water and boil them. When they cool, I shell them. Later, I'll cook some other vegetables with them,... garlic, tomato, potato,... whatever I've got in the fridge. If I add a can of tuna or chicken breast, then I guess I'd have to call it 'soup'? Anyway, I had to jump up just now to turn down the heat under the soybeans.
I hope that those 'new meds' will take care of the roller coaster and the unexplained crying. Will you be able to call the doctor if the new meds make something 'worse', or if they aren't helping? - jus' |
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| Laura |
Posted on November 29 2010 12:56 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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UPDATE
I have been doing good and still am... However!!
My Manager and I had an argument regarding the Christmas and New Year Rota's and she said I was "unstable" and that I need to go to my GP. She said if I get the all clear I can come back to work. So I go to my GP's and he declares me mentally well- THANK YOU!!! Anyways... My manager called me and told me not to bother coming into work as I will be paid holiday pay for Saturday, Sunday and Monday. WHY???? I am fine... My GP said I am fine too. I called GP and he is writing me a GP note which states I am fine. I was meant to have a meeting today at 2pm... but Scotland has been hit with sever thuder storms which has also trapped in snow too... been mental. Everything is at a stand still had about 4 inches of snow (inches means nothing to me either lol)
I called my manager and said you have marked me green on rota- green means sickness... she said its just so no one calls me.. I said I will be paid holiday leave then she said yes.
My GP said my Manager is trying to say I am unwell cause I had an arguement with her and I have never had an argument with her before. So she is playing on my "illness".
I NEED OUT OF MY JOB NOW!!!
Just been checking out the jobs site for my area not much going 
So its been a mad week since I last posted.
My new med I dont feel any different on it btw... I thought it would help me but maybe in a few weeks time.
Just, all we are making is Lentil soup YUMMY!!! I love Lentil soup could eat it all the time... we add our own stuff into it and different veg etc... My Mum and I are into making soup big time lol Just finished a plate of her soup she made yesterday... added some cream into it YUMMY
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on November 29 2010 01:49 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6103
Joined: 2008-05-25
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11/29/10
Dear Laura,
Soup, especially homemade soup, is so comforting. It's gotten cold here, too, though not so drastic as what you've described there in Scotland. When I think of Scotland, I think of my trip to Edinburgh. It was summer at the time, but even so, those huge stone buildings 'looked cold', and imagining that town with snow on the ground makes me give a little shudder. Hot soup would certainly make it more bearable.
I like lentil soup, too. Would you call yours 'menestra'? They made a lot of that in South America, when I was living there. And, it's nice that you get to do the 'soup cooking' with your mother.
I'm so sorry that your manager has taken unfair advantage of your medical history to deprive you of a good reputation at your job. I'll tell you a short story of what happened to one of my other dyscalculic friends. She is working on a 4-year degree in Social Services, with plans to graduate and get a 'real job' in Social Services. In the meantime, she took a very difficult, very demanding job, watching over juvenile delinquents who are under arrest. Let me just add that she's a wonderful, warm, caring person, and has already raised a child of her own. In spite of her best efforts, a manager gave her a 'punishing schedule' and then bad marks. Just like you, her only choice was to leave that job, because staying there would mean jeopardizing her future in the area of Social Services,... her life goal as an occupation. She had to take a job at a warehouse, working in a cold and toxic environment, while carrying a full load in college. I'm so sorry that you are going through the same mistreatment.
I'll be hoping that a nice job will turn up for you. - jus' |
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| CheshireKat |
Posted on November 29 2010 02:31 PM
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Member
Location: United States
Posts: 1860
Joined: 2008-11-14
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Laura, it makes me so angry to hear what your manager is doing. She's trying to use the stigma of your illness to play it against you and keep you out of your workplace, and that is not fair. Just because you disagree with her doesn't mean you're any more or less ill than you were before you disagreed with her!!! Geez, some people really can't hear differing viewpoints, can they? I'm glad your doctor is on your side in this and sees the truth in the situation, hopefully you will be back at work soon and your manager will have to get over herself.
I'm sorry that you aren't feeling the stability you had wanted to yet with your medication. Just hang in there and keep trying. Sometimes it takes several trials with various different medications before you find the one that works for you, or it might be a combination of things that works best. It will just take time and effort to figure out what that best drug/combination of drugs is. I know it sucks feeling like a guinea pig and having all these different meds thrown at you, but in the end it will be worth it because when you finally DO find the combination that works best, you will feel so much better. Have you at least been sleeping any better?
"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." - Eric Hoffer |
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| Kestrel6 |
Posted on November 29 2010 06:08 PM
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Member
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 448
Joined: 2009-08-26
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Keep fighting, kid; give the meds some more time to settle in, and keep knocking back that soup! 
Blessed are the PURR in heart! |
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| Laura |
Posted on November 30 2010 11:58 AM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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My work are a joke...
My manager has called me at 11am and said to meet for 2pm at work for a "stress" risk assessment.... WHY???
Well the snow here has gotten sever and no one can move... they prob havent covered my shift either. I will have to get to work via bus which is far and few between BUT how do I get home as all buses have been stopping at 7pm how do I get home...
Any advice???
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| CheshireKat |
Posted on November 30 2010 02:01 PM
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Member
Location: United States
Posts: 1860
Joined: 2008-11-14
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Laura, just tell them that you have to take the bus to work because you cannot drive and the buses stop running at 7 PM, so unless one of them would like to offer you a ride you will have to leave by 6:30 so that you can catch a bus back home. Or you could ask your sister or parents if they would be willing to come pick you up from work after 7 PM, whenever it is you get out. That way you could ride the bus to work, then get picked up by one of them from work and not have to worry about taking the bus home. Good luck with that!
"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." - Eric Hoffer |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on November 30 2010 03:06 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6103
Joined: 2008-05-25
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11/30/10
I think that the physically difficult situation regarding transportation that the manager has put you in, Laura, pretty much confirms that they have little regard for your well-being.
This reminds me of one time when I was on 'probation' to get to keep a new job. Until I passed 'probation', I didn't really know if I 'had' a job. Also, those who were on 'probation' were not called to work overtime. Then we had a terrible snow storm. The roads were covered with snow and slippery ice. The freeways only had a 'trail' where the tires got down to the ice underneath. I got a call to come to work early, doing overtime. And,... I went. I figured that, since they called me for 'overtime', they would have a hard time later saying that I 'hadn't made it past probabation'. Such has been my life's story. Just glad that I didn't have a wreck getting there. I worked 11 hours straight on the phones that day. - jus'
Edited by justfoundout on November 30 2010 03:06 PM |
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| Riker |
Posted on November 30 2010 09:31 PM
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Member
Location: No value
Posts: 23
Joined: 2010-11-25
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Hello, Laura.
I don't know you but wanted to say you're not alone with the depression stuff.
"Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter" - Oscar Wilde |
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| RottieWoman |
Posted on November 30 2010 10:30 PM
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Member
Location: No value
Posts: 3044
Joined: 2008-12-31
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hi Riker and Laura!
Laura, I'm thinking about you...
Riker, one of things I enjoy about this forum is how supportive and gentle people generally are with each other...as you've just illustrated |
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| Laura |
Posted on December 01 2010 02:25 AM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey guys,
Thanks for your messages
I am really just upset with work... major long story....
Have had it with them. Gonna try and get a new job a few jobs have cropped up 1 being in a cafe and the other being in a kids toy shop Toys R Us. I think I need to come out of the care system altogether. Its a shame as I have done it for 10 years. But hey ho!!
Think the whole fact that I went to my other manager and said I neeed to drop down from being a Key Worker... and that now apparently my Area maanger said which means I can not do my job is really hurting me.
I am now off work completely until 20th December... BONUS huh!!
I dont feel manic, or depressed or in a mixed episode I am just fine... Kat is that allowed lol apparently I have the sense that this is not allowed.
Thanks Riker and welcome to the forum
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| Kathy |
Posted on December 01 2010 04:14 AM
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Member
Location: Bribie Island Queensland Australia
Posts: 407
Joined: 2005-04-03
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Hi Laura.
You have been handling everything so well! Good on you honey, it sounds like your feeling a little better, especially since the last time we chatted! enjoy the break you deserve it Laura. Take care happy Holidays!! stay in touch
Albert Einstein said: "Many of the things you can count, don't count. Many of the things you can't count, really count!." |
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| CheshireKat |
Posted on December 01 2010 04:18 AM
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Member
Location: United States
Posts: 1860
Joined: 2008-11-14
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Laura, being in a normal mood is DEFINITELY allowed. Are you on your new meds yet? If you are, it might mean that they are starting to help. If not, then it just means your brain is finding a state of equilibrium for a little while, which sometimes happens. Enjoy it while you can.
I'm sorry that things at work are going so rough for you right now. It does sound like maybe you just need a new work environment entirely. It seems like working in health care would pay more than working in retail like at Toys R Us, but maybe it would be worth it to take the pay cut and work in a better environment that is less stressful for you. I hope that you are able to find a new job soon that suits your needs better. I just recently got a new job and I am so much happier with work now.
"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." - Eric Hoffer |
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| Laura |
Posted on December 01 2010 11:09 AM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Thanks Kathy and Kat
Thank you Kathy for those kind words... defo needed to hear that so thank you!!!
Kat, I have started my new med. Started it last Wednesday... dont feel anything different or worse or better on it... feel the same as I did when not on meds. Thank you for saying normal mood is DEFINATELY allowed. Thats all I have been feeling for a wee while now... the odd mild mania or mild depression but nothing major at all.
I think your right, think I need to get out of that mind-boggling job. Ye the pay will be lower than what I am on now and it will kill my bank account but I can always get 2 jobs no harm there.
Awwwe I am so glad your liking your new job... what do you do now?
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on December 02 2010 03:36 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6103
Joined: 2008-05-25
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12/2/10
Hi Laura. Sorry that you've been so rudely 'deleted' from your job. They always have to find some way to 'blame the employee', otherwise they'd have legal liability, so please don't take it to heart. It's not 'you'; it's 'them', and their pocketbook.
This, ironically, is the best time for it to happen though, as you are now in 'shape' to go out and find another job, looking and feeling your best. If there's a job that offers you a college course or two as training, I'd say, grab that one. No one can take those 'courses completed' away from you. They will follow you wherever you go. I've been ill, so have been MIA for a few days here. - jus'
Edited by justfoundout on December 02 2010 03:36 PM |
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| CheshireKat |
Posted on December 02 2010 04:55 PM
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Member
Location: United States
Posts: 1860
Joined: 2008-11-14
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Laura, just be careful not to take on too much. Start with one job and see how you like it, then maybe consider taking on a second job after you see what your bank account looks like (and more importantly, how you feel mentally) with one job. Or ideally, try to find a job with comparable pay to the one you're working now. Maybe another job in a related field but not at the place you're working at now? Just do your best to be very aware of yourself and your moods, and how the stress of a new job affects them. I can always tell when I'm starting to take on too many things because my moods are the first to suffer, I feel myself pulling apart at the seams and that's when I have to stop and say, "Okay, this is too much for me right now, what can I get rid of to lessen my stress?" You have to take care of yourself first and foremost.
And thank you! My new job is in customer service, but not retail. I actually work at my university now, in their computer assistance department. Whenever other students are having trouble using the online system for the university, or are having trouble with their computer itself, they call into our department. My job is to either help them solve the problem if I can, or patch them through to one of the "real" tech staff if I can't figure it out myself. It's WAY better than retail, that's for sure. Much more dyscalculia-friendly, too, since I don't have to work with money!
"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." - Eric Hoffer |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on December 09 2010 02:53 AM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6103
Joined: 2008-05-25
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12/8/10
Kat, your job sounds similar to one that I had about three years ago. People would come into the government agency where I worked, needing to fill out an online 'work skills profile', and I would help them access the site, navigate it, fill it out, and get it in operating order. I did this especially for the Spanish-only consumers. It was amusing to watch them 'get the hang' of 'scrolling', 'double-clicking', and 'copy and pasting'. That job made me feel quite computer literate by comparison. - jus' |
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| Laura |
Posted on December 13 2010 12:45 AM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey Guys, sorry I haven't been on here in like 2 weeks.
Well... My Meeting which was meant to be on monday 29th November didnt go ahead due to snow which has been tortourous for us Scots at the mo. Then I got a call on Tuesday 30th from my Manager who wanted to meet in 2 hours. I said no as I was ill-prepared as I didnt have a representitive with me... I know what she is like and I wanted a witness to EVERYTHING that was going on and said. She told me that it wa san informal chat with my 2 managers and that I would start work again on Tuesday backshift- 3pm. I refused as I didnt have sufficent time etc. I got a call from my Area Manager asking why I wasn't in work tonight. I said cause I can't make the "informal chat" as HR is not avaliable to meet today and I was given 2 hours notice which is ridiculous. My Area Manager told me HR were avaliable????? and that I needed to come in for this meeting. I live at the far end of the city and my work is at the other end of the city. This is impossible as I was snowed in. They were refusing to listen to me and told me I MUST come in. I held on and told them no and repeated AGAIN why I was not coming in for a meeting. Anyways.... after all of this I was told to take another week off work... who knows if it is paid or not. I had a meeting with HR and a Manager from respite(which is part of my work they cater for over night stays from my guys I loook after) and myself and my friend Nicky. Meeting went well... no one knew why we were there. I wa stold to get a "stress risk assessment" and they were told to get info to do my stress risk assessment.... SENSE has NO sense. The woman said I was NOT stressed- GEE YOU THINK!!! but was under pressure which is a good thing as it pushes me which is good. She was nice and we spoke for over 1 hour. I came out comfused as I still have no idea WHY I had to go to that meeting.
Anyways... I have to contact my Area Manager when I go back to work... THOUGHT I HAD TO HAVE MY STRESS RISK ASSESSMENT DONE BEFORE I COULD GO BACK TO WORK???????????????
I have no idea anymore
I am DREADING going back to work. I go back Monday 20th December 3pm. I have had minor panic attacks thinking about it, dreams about work, dull aches in my stomach... I really wanna stay off.
I feel ok within myself... My Med is making me sleepy and tired but I still can't sleep decently yet which is frustrating me. I have been crying and tearful over the past few weeks and its really irratating me now. I just wanna feel ok again. Don't think the med has done anything different to me... I still feel the same as I did last month when I was off meds.
Really anxious about work. Not due to see GP till 23rd and Psych 29th December.
What do I do? Any suggestions?
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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