Donna wrote:I live in Holland now, and my daily cycle along the canal to my office is always an imaginative work-in-progress.
Me too! To the point that I actually start riding slower, because I get so focused on my mind instead of moving my legs. I guess it's because there's nothing else to concentrate on, and my brain needs something to think about all the time, apparently.
Location: the Netherlands Posts: 18 Joined: 2007-03-30
If I don't have Music on when I'm riding to school I'm getting late
"Zelfverwijt is een vorm van luxe, wie zichzelf iets verwijt, ontneemt de ander daar het recht toe."
Oscar Wilde schrijver (1854-1900)
----> hi <----
wan to know more about me?
ert wrote:Me too! To the point that I actually start riding slower, because I get so focused on my mind instead of moving my legs. I guess it's because there's nothing else to concentrate on, and my brain needs something to think about all the time, apparently.
With me it's the opposite. The more engrossed I am in my imaginary scenario, the faster I pedal! I've already had a few close calls when I nearly overshot a crossing or had to brake suddenly! I have to force myself to just settle down. Luckily, I love meditation. For me, 'going into the silence' is a wonderful way to still or at least quieten the ongoing inner dialogue.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
um, have to say that I am a non dyscalculic (i'm on the forum cos my son is both dyslexic and dyscalulic) and in answer to some of the queries about daydreaming and its assoc with dyscalculia I am a massive dreamer in exactly the same way described above. I have less time to dream these days (3 chidlren and onother one on the way!) but its been a major part of my life as far back as I can remember. I know my son's symptoms don't come from my side of the family- we are all without exception highly academic and particularly gifted in maths and science so maybe the daydreaming gene is not necessarily a dyscalculia thing! (though of course it may be more common) anyway thought it might be of interest!
Thanks everyone for sharing! I am new to the forum and so happy to have found you fellow dyscalculics. This thread is fascinating...I thought making up complete scenarios, characters, and scripts in my head all the time was just part of my quirky nature (like duscalculia). So nice to know there are others just like me out there going through the same experiences.
Is that dyscalculia? Not really .....I do that ..everyone does. And we all have our stories of triumph when we had the perfect answer to put someone nasty down with. You see, that is because those times are infrequent for most people ,so we remember the perfect occasion when it all fell into place.
Location: Wiltshire, UK Posts: 129 Joined: 2006-06-27
Interesting point about fantasising more when you're anxious or feeling nervous. I have noticed that I tend to retreat inside myself more when I'm anxious too. This morning, for example, I was driving to work and my fantasy was all about walking in to the middle of a big university lecture hall and the lecturer saying "oh hey, its katie". "Hi Kate, why don't you tell us all about your dyscalculia". So then I was standing under a spotlight, telling the whole lecture hall about it - including the frustrations - and it felt great. The end of the fantasy was me saying to whole room "I just want to be able to talk about it openly, without feeling ashamed of myself".
I was kind of ranting at the whole world in general (in my head of course) and I think its because i'm going for job interviews at the moment - so my dsycal is at the forefront of my mind.
Location: west hartford, ct Posts: 4 Joined: 2007-05-18
I do it too! I daydream like crazy, in fact in school it was a real problem! anytime I am reading, or in the bath relaxing, sometimes even watching television, or in conversation i will automatically drift into a different world, imagining numerous scenerios! endless daydreamer, so hard to keep under control... but I never dream when asleep...
Location: Memphis/Arlington Tn United States Posts: 7 Joined: 2007-07-03
I've always had really intense daydreams . I used to get hem a lot in school . I would talk to myself sometimes and act out all the different characters , there feelings and there emotions . I would have some of the longest story lines also . It was very fun ! I even made a soundtrack in my head to the story and would go crazy with it lol ! But people would think I was nuts and they would make fun of me . Which wasn't new for b/c I was different anyway I enjoyed reading and art , and history .I listened to heavy metal not a lot of rap or hip hop and I black in a class full stupid people trying to be popular .
I've come to notice lately that this tendency to fantasise, as it's been put, tends to increase when I'm anxious or feeling frustrated about something - Anyone else noticed the same thing?
Lately I've been doing it a lot but later, after analysis of what I've been talking about, I've realised that I've got an axe to grind. You see, there's a thing I call "stairway thoughts" for lack of a better name... You know, like when you are over at some people's place and during the evening you have an argument with someone and with wich you fail to find the right words to express exactly your point of view. Then, because of that yo lose the argument. But then, after the evening is over and that you are standing in the stairway, about to leave for home, the thing you should have said to win the argument pops right into your mind but it's too late and pointless to bring it up because the momentum is gone? You know, that kind of thing ? Well, this is the kind of thing that I'm rehearsing when I'm alone. I've got thousands of replies for thousands of possible scenarios ...very many have to do with dyscalculia I realize now... anyway, I'm ready. All I'm waiting for is for the occasion to arise again. Yet, at the same time I know that this is completely sick
I totaly do that too and its sooo embarrasing! Right in an argument or even just a normal coversation with someone I just zone out and start daydreaming and ppl often find it rude, but i really don't mean to be rude, i just can't help it! And then when everything's over I sit down and daydream of things that i could've said if i didn't daydream!!
Frustrating? yes. very.
They laugh at me because I'm different...I laugh at them because they're all the SAME!
you maybe onto something there I never thought of it that way, that's really kool n logical, but wat makes it so frustrating for me is that it really takes too long to do all that thinking my brain just doesnt think ask quickly as others. Another thing, when my mind drifts off when im talking with someone and i finally "snap out" of it, i even forget what it was that I was thinking about, "was it something related to what the person was saying? or something that was on my mind?" bugs me alot...
And eoffg, I Understand wat ur saying (lol)
They laugh at me because I'm different...I laugh at them because they're all the SAME!
Well I suppose I have to go somewhere when I space off. Sometimes it's a movie, sometimes it's like this buzz that I'm stuck in and I literally can't move until I "snap to". I have come to deal with it by calling these my Zen moments. Seriously though, if you've got live in a movie, you might as well also be the director!
I remember back in the summer of 95' when I was at summer camp, I discovered that I could form images of places, things and people that were not within my peripheral. Early in the mornings, before camp started, all the kids would gather in twosomes, or groups surrounding the basketball court. I remember walking on these tannish brown dirt mounds, and, although I don't really remember what the images in my mind were, I do remember asking myself how was I able to be in one place in the real world (day camp) and yet be able to picture in my mind a totally different location (a dark, murky stream, overshadowed by luming storm-clouds). From all the overly analytic introspection that I've been doing, trying to figure out my "true wiring" so to speak, I've come to the conclusion that my daydreams, my inner-imaginings stem from more concrete stimuli. When I was in second and third-grade, I hated to read chapter books and yet I
always love to watch Disney movies, despite not having a fully developed theory of mind. I remember watching the Disney Animated Version of Robin Hood and despite my being in first grade with ToM deficits, almost immediately getting a crush on Maid Marian. And from then on, until my next crush came along, I would not stop thinking about there. There would be times where I could have been in the Christiana Mall picking out a toy or a new movie, and in my mind I'd hear Maid Marian say something like "Oh, come on, make up your mind, we don't have all day". Or when I was playing cards with my grandmother, I'd feel like Maid Marian would be sitting right next to me, silently admiring how nerdily cute I was. But the sad thing about it was, I didn't have enough of a dialogue with her. I would just feel and bask joyfully and warmly in her imaginary presence, but I would never, to my rememberance, have any actual imagined conversations with her. When I would pick out a movie at the store, in my mind, she'd just be smiling at me, admiring how cute (I made her) think I was, but she'd never, to my knowledge say things like, oooh, oooh I let's get Roger Rabbit, I've always wanted to see what happens when cartoons enter real life"! Unfortunately, we'd rarely if ever share the same thoughts with one another.
I remember when I was in second-third grade, although I was impaired in my ability to have imaginary conversations with all the girls I had crushes on, and yet I could vividly feel their gentle, colorful external presence inside of me. There would be cloudy, lazy Sunday afternoons where I would be lying on my living room floor while my mother was curled up on the couch, and, this is going to sound creepy, but I promise you I'm not a pervert, I would visualize my current crushes sitting on the same couch or in the love seat right next to where my mother was sitting. And I vividly picture my crush in a marron cashmere sweater, pale black, semi-rumpled stretch pants, and glittery maroon cashmere socks slumped, dazed in the living room love seat, as if my malfunctioning mirror neurons projected X into hers, quietly gesturing for me to sit beside her...and, all I'm going to say is that I'd have these vivid, albiet highly concrete, real world fantasies of "puppy love" (me and my crush watching movies together, running around the playground on a rainy day, flailing our arms, throwing mud at one another, flapping our arms as we jumped in puddles (i.e acting autistic together). What was so, oh, unfortunately, so beautiful about it was that in my mind, me and my crush, at least when she became mentalized by me, had the same level of social intelligence, that of a prematurely birthed "normal" toddler. That meant that in my mind, we were totally on the same wave lenght, and that meant that in my mind, somebody other than my parents saw and felt and believed that there was warmth and love, and relatibiility inside of me. And, despite me, in a real-life social context being totally unlovabe in the eyes of my peers and especially in the eyes of my crush, in the real world, I was still able to feel love by her, even though she'd die before she'd even begin to want to want to develop such a feeling for a then-social pariah like myself.
And unfortunately that imaginative paradox that had going on extended to virtually all facets of my childhood. For example, I would have my GI Joe action figures do all sorts of complex idio-creative martial arts moves. I remember making my action figures fight atop of and inside parakeet cages, and having them dive off of wooden table ridges and jump into my mothers half drunken coffee cups...and yet, it, to me, felt lively and spontaneous. And yet, while this was a demonstration of an (at least partail ) capactiy for spontaneous creativity, it was also a demonstration of barren imagination because I was rarely, if ever, able to give my action figures a reason for fighting one another. I was never able to give them goals, a purpose, personality...
Because I was, in the real world, seemingly blissfully content (as much in the Hare Krishna sense, as in a beatuful, wistful sense), I didn't have much of a need to create elaborate "imagination-based" fantasy worlds. Because I was so enamored with my Disney movies, my premature crushes on girls, my love of rainy and cloudy, and sunny days, my love of hearing my camp counselors reading Goosbump books, my love of my Grandparents putting up with my shanatagans, my love of gathering animal and geography facts, of the programs about miracles, the PBS mysteries that my mother watched that I'd tuned in and out of, my love of swimming, my love of my one and only (autistic friend) Alaric, my love of having intense, vivid, emotionally exuberant and vibrant, and yet empathically impoverished and yet forever beautiful fantasies of companionship with girls my age
I lived in a reality based fantasy world.
Edited by FringeLuniest on July 27 2007 12:38 AM