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Update again! Long and possibly boring
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| Laura |
Posted on September 09 2011 12:57 AM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey guys,
Sorry for not being on here like I use to.... I promise to be better at that!
It's been a really hard few months and I am still in higgle piggle land.
I am still out of work... My job is not ready yet or something and I have heard on the vine that it won't be ready until Christmas.... I was promised a job in September!!
I got a call the other week and I must attend for a medical for my benefits. I have spoke with my GP and she said they will not be trained up on Bipolar and I must make it clear how bad I have been both Manic and Depressed.
I have been Hypo-Manic for about 4 months now and inbetween these 4 months have been Manic. I have stopped my medication, took risks, became suicidal, self harmed etc. My CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) has informed me if I do not recover myself from this and start being "sensible" he will section me under the mental health act 1985 grrrr!!!
I had been informed from my Support Worker that my CPN had mentioned to him that he thinks I have Borderline Personailty Disorder. Eventually I built up the courage to ask my CPN and he has informed me that I do not have it phew!!! and that I am pure Bipolar 1 with personality issues. Add on top of that anxiety disorder and insomnia its a party in my head.
I am still at my day service. I use to get support on a Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. I played Badminton, went Swimming and did Tai Chi. But found out this week they are stopping supporting me on Monday's (Badminton) and Thursday's (Tai Chi) as I can now do them myself. Instead they are going to do "coping mechanism's" with me. Pretty anxious about that. I start it in under 10 hours eeek!!!
I have been having sever anxiety attacks and am really stressing out about them. I am getting grief off of friends cause I have stopped going out. So I am out this weekend and am really anxious. Out Friday night for my Friends Birthday and then my other Friend has started back at Uni so has moved into a new flat and is having a Flatwarming on Saturday night. Then Sunday I am doing a walk with my other Friends for S.A.N.D.S (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death) charity. They lost their Baby Girl in June 2011. I am just worried I let people down.
I am riding a Manic episode at the moment and have been on a full blown Manic episode for about 2 weeks now. I seem to come "alive" at night when everyone is asleep. I have been chatting to these guys and I have a new boyfriend :-D I have never met him but he is hopefully gonna come to see me in a few weeks time. I feel amazing with no sleep. I have stopped my medication but restarted it again. I don't sleep at the moment and if I do it's only for 2-3 hours. I saw my friends after a GP app the other week and they were amazed at how fast I can talk without taking a breath lol!!!
Sorry bleathering rubbish now... Anyways hope your all doing good and I am sorry I am such a lousy forum member... I use to be good at coming on here too!!!
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on September 09 2011 02:59 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6101
Joined: 2008-05-25
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9/9/11
I'd been missing you here and wondering how you are. Did the Firestone job work out for you? It was only part time, wasn't it? I'm in four college classes right now, so I haven't been much use to anyone but myself either. Nice to hear from you. - jus' |
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| Laura |
Posted on September 09 2011 11:45 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey Just,
Aww thank you!!! Missed coming on here and reading your posts and seeing what people are up too!!
Nope not even started at Mitchelin. Ye it is menat to be part-time. Apparently they are still building the new department according to my friend who works there. I am stressing out as I am wondering if I should be applying for other jobs or not. The Mitchelin job is so ideal though.
How are you doing?
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on September 10 2011 03:48 AM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6101
Joined: 2008-05-25
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9/9/11
Did they give you anything in writing saying that you had that job? Or did they at least 'tell' you that you've got it? It would be very disappointing if they don't come through for you. In fact, I knew a man who'd quit a job for a better job, only to find that the person who'd 'hired' him had changed his mind and given it to someone else. It wasn't fair, and he could have sued, but he didn't want to do that,... and then have to 'work' for the person he'd sued. That would be sticky, wouldn't it? I'd like for you to have more assurance from the Mitchelin people, so that you don't get disappointed. - jus' |
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| Laura |
Posted on September 11 2011 10:26 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey Just,
Ye they stated in a letter that when a position arises then it's mine.... but at the interview they said there will be jobs as of September. I am just more stressed about the fact I have to go for a Medical which will deem weather or not I am capable and able to work. What do I do, tell them I have a possible job? I am stressing out about it. Got a letter and they have moved my appointment to the Wednesday instead of the Monday. Means I see my CPN before Wednesday so can chat to him about it.
God that sounds ridiculous for the guy you know. How can people be like that huh!
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on September 12 2011 03:15 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6101
Joined: 2008-05-25
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9/12/11
Hi Laura,
I couldn't give your post the time it deserves,... leaving for school. I think that the job would be good for you. Hope the medical assessment doesn't get in the way. - jus' |
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| Laura |
Posted on September 17 2011 06:43 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Thanks Just :-D
I am not doing good hence not being on here to reply.... sometimes this illness beats me to the ground. Think I am Manic never felt this way for a very long time. Don't think it's good for me to feel like this but my thoughts are all over the place. I feel my head is squidgy!!!
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on September 20 2011 02:28 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6101
Joined: 2008-05-25
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9/20/11
Dear Laura,
So sorry that you've been feeling so bad. Did you ever locate that nearby herbal place? I'm going to send you a PM. - jus' |
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| Laura |
Posted on September 20 2011 03:21 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey Just,
The herbal shop never opened something went wrong with it and it never opened. I read your PM... I am gonna google the herbal and see if I can get it in Scotland. I have spoken to my CPN and he has informed me that I was delusional as I thought people were pamering with my meds. I got into trouble as I haven't took my meds for about a month. I am an idiot. I know. I don't think I have been full blown Manic... just Hypo-Manic. I have realsied I am still in denial about having Bipolar. CPN thinks I am OTT'ing Bipolar 24/7 as I have nothing else in life ie a job. He said once I get a job I should be better. He has written out all the things I have told him and he said he will print his notes out and give it to my Psychiatrist. Said he will get it in 2 weeks when he comes off of his holidays. I see Psych 30th September anyways.
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on September 21 2011 03:43 AM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6101
Joined: 2008-05-25
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9/20/11
I'm so glad that your CPN is in favor of you having a job. That's a very good sign that he understands your need to be a useful, reliable, working person. You'll still feel bad sometimes, but knowing that you are handling responsibilities and earning money will be what sees you through those bad days. Also, you'll have a measure of independence due to the income. I know that you haven't even wanted to spend on herbs, since you didn't have your own money. Sorry that that store didn't open. The economy has changed many plans all over the world. - jus' |
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| Laura |
Posted on September 22 2011 03:06 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey Just,
I went for my Medical.... The Doctor has said I am unfit to work at the moment and he will make sure I get extra money. Said until I am more stable he has decided I am unfit to work. I was only in 15 mins and that was his decision. So I am worried now about my mitchelin job... Do I call them up and decline or do I take the job when it arises and tell my GP I want to give working a go? My folks are making me question myself and they are making me frustrated... I know they mean well but grrr!!
I am determined to not to get Depressed and to stay "normal" I am implementing a daily schedule which I am still working on. My weeks stay the same bar 1 day a week where I get 1:1 support which is always differnt days/times.
The economy is majorly screwed up huh!! My Mum has just told me Britian has "borrowed" over a million £'s from another country... can't remember which country. We will never get out of debt. But I guess we are in the same boat as eveyone else too. Will it ever end?!?
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on September 23 2011 07:18 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6101
Joined: 2008-05-25
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9/23/11
Well, the 'more money' part sounds like an improvement. Why in only 15 minutes could he make that determination on your 'fitness to work'? Maybe he'd been thinking it over and already had planned that 'decision'? I'd hold off on telling the MIchelin people your current situation. It could change by your next health visit. Or, Michelin could even contact you and say that that job opening has been 'delayed', and that would coincide with your own time-frame for getting well. When you folks make you 'question yourself', are you talking about your job situation in particular? Do they doubt that you want to hold a job?
Greece is the country that we hear the most about here in the US. Apparently when the European Union was formed around the Euro, the lawmakers didn't foresee the present economy, hence didn't include any provision for one country to go belly up, while still attached financially to the rest of the union. - jus' |
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| RottieWoman |
Posted on September 27 2011 01:31 PM
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Member
Location: No value
Posts: 3037
Joined: 2008-12-31
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Laura, I'm thinking about you and wishing the best!
I was just seeing that on the news last night about Greece/Europe... |
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| Laura |
Posted on October 29 2011 01:02 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Thanks guys, still no news about job. I am doing much better since I re-started on my meds. I am on stronger meds and they have been upped. My sleeping is a lot better but some days I do struggle but I have been told this is normal behaviour for "people" to do lol!! I am about to start confidence classes so I am a bit anxious about that. My Suppoort Worker has been working with me to improve my assertiviness. I have minimised my time on the internet and not met up with any guys, talked to any guys online. I am so happy I am doing so much better.
You guys have been brilliant and I can only thank you all you all know who you are 
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on October 29 2011 10:06 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6101
Joined: 2008-05-25
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10/29/11
Glad to see you here again, and with the news that you are better. Are you still doing the badmitten? Do you get to use their facilities and find play partners there? I'm now job searching just like you. I found a job that I would really like to have through the college job site, and applied for it. This was last Wednesday, but I haven't heard back from them yet. It's a job going out and talking to High School students about going on to college. So, it involves travel. It pays a little more than the other school jobs, but I'm guessing that that's because you have to use your own car and gasoline. Anyway, I hope they'll call me because I really need a job.
I'm glad that you are getting the right dosage of meds now. You just 'have' to get that minimum amount of sleep necessary to orient yourself. You can't function without it. Nobody can. - jus' |
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| Laura |
Posted on November 15 2011 03:50 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey Just,
I am still going to my Badminton, missed the past 3 weeks as I have been really ill with a virus. But went back on Monday there omg was it hard. Ye there are usually 8-12 of us who play Badminton so you always get a game of either singles or doubles. Its free and they provide the shuttlecocks and the rackets too!
Did you hear back from that job you applied for? The job sounds good Just
I just saw my Psychiatrist for the last time of 2011 I don't see him until January 2012 now. He has kept everything the same. So guess I am ok! He still says I need a morning and night routine. I guess he is right. I still have a few more sessions with my CPN for the year. I see him next week I think (29th Nov) he thinks I am more stable now that I am taking my meds continuous. I haven't stopped taking them which is a good thing
I was just told today that 1 of my Support Workers has now left. I am really gonna miss her as she was always nice to me and we got along really well. Felt emotional when I was told today. I only saw her on Thursday and she never said anything. She apparently left very quietly. Total bummer.
Hope your well Just!!
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on November 15 2011 04:24 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6101
Joined: 2008-05-25
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11/14/11
Sorry you lost the support worker that you liked. No, they haven't contacted me about that job that I wanted. I keep logging in on my college email, hoping to hear back from them, but nothing. Last week, I went to a free 'interpreter training' in Dallas. (Dallas is the largest town in a whole metroplex of towns.) The training was held at a hotel and they gave us pizza for lunch. It was fun to be around other interpreters,... French, Spanish, Portuguese, Korean, Indian and African languages as well. This would be a job driving my car constantly. And they don't reimburse for gasoline. It would pay well, but I would have complicated taxes to figure out,... not looking forward to this. But, at least it's a 'job', and I may have to do this to survive.
Hope that you'll soon have another 'friend' as a healthcare worker on your behalf. - jus'
Edited by justfoundout on November 15 2011 04:25 PM |
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| Laura |
Posted on December 01 2011 06:13 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Hey Just,
Sorry I haven't been on here I took a dip but hopefully I am back up
How's the job hunting going?
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on December 03 2011 02:40 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6101
Joined: 2008-05-25
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11/3/11
Hi Laura,
The job hunting didn't go so well. They called and gave me an interview for that job that I told you about. I went to the job interview. It was a low paying college job, but I really wanted it. I could tell that the lady who gave the interview was not impressed with me. Toward the end of the interview, she just sort of trailed off from talking to me and started looking at her paperwork on the desk and (I think even) moving the mouse of her computer. Maybe she just didn't have much experience at being the HR person? It seemed like the whole purpose of the interview was just to be sure that I was a 'person' rather than a French Poodle. I never even heard back that I hadn't gotten the job.
I'm just trying now to end the school semester successfully. Thanks for asking. - jus' |
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| Laura |
Posted on December 07 2011 01:24 PM
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Member
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229
Joined: 2006-11-16
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Awe Just I am so sorry about the job. That sucks. The woman was very rude too!! She clearly is inexperienced.
Good luck with finishing the semester :-)
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT |
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