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The ignorance of some.
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| dyscalculicphysicist |
Posted on February 08 2012 10:19 PM
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Member
Location: No value
Posts: 6
Joined: 2012-02-08
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Hello everybody.
One thing that really annoys/upsets me is the lack of understanding of those who don't have dyscalculia. On the rare occassion I decide to share with others the reason as to why I'm bad at maths, or why I don't like going to shops etc the overwhelming response I get is "that's not a real thing" or "you're still thick though". This impression that is given that if you can't do maths you're stupid is completely unfounded. It seems to me that those who don't have dyscalculia (a minority of those anyway) seem to believe that if you can't do maths you can't do anything at all and the overwhelming suprise they express when you achieve something is just insulting. I'm currently in year 12 (As year) and despite my good GCSE grades I'm still looked down upon just because my maths skills are poor it is extremely frustrating. I am sure those who have been in the same situation (or are currrently in the same situation) would agree. Does anyone have any tips to convince others that I'm not worthless?
Thanks. |
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| CoastGurl |
Posted on February 09 2012 03:09 AM
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Member
Location: Canada
Posts: 18
Joined: 2012-01-25
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Hi Dyscalculicphysicist,
I'm sorry to hear that your being treated in such a horrible way! Are the people who are treating you like this friends or family? Personally speaking, if your friends are looking down at you and aren't being supportive or calling you thick, then might I suggest new finding some new friends? My best friend knows that my spelling/math is crappy, but whenever I complete something academically, she cheers me on because she knows that I tend to struggle with everything (mind you she's constantly on the deans list with a 4 point GPA).
By the way, if people can't accecpt you for who you are and consider you worthless, you don't need them. Period. You shouldn't have to convince others; if some friend of mine considered me worthless? I'd cut off ties and leave them to their own devices, I don't need friends like that when I'm struggling in my own life.
So my math isn't that good, and my spelling doesn't always make sense, but I try and that's really the only thing you can do in life. |
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| squeakymonster |
Posted on February 09 2012 04:20 AM
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Member
Location: Munising, MI, USA
Posts: 788
Joined: 2010-10-09
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Hi. Welcome to the forum. I agree with Coastgurl. Look for new friends. Talk to a teacher or a guidance counselor. I had friends in high school, LD or not. One of my friends was actually in special ed. classes, others were, like myself, in AP and music classes. I also was lucky to have supportive teachers (usually). It's time for you to make some tough choices. Either you allow yourself to continue being bullied, or you cut ties and reinvent yourself with a new group. Neither is easy.
I'm NOT lost, I'm just taking the scenic rout! |
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| RottieWoman |
Posted on February 09 2012 02:23 PM
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Member
Location: No value
Posts: 3044
Joined: 2008-12-31
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dyscalculicphysicist, only you can convince yourself you are NOT worthless. Others will do what they want and it's their own hurts that show in how they treat you. I'm very open about my learning disability and sometimes people are interested, receptive and kind - other times, not. What I can do is choose how I'll let it affect me. |
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| CheshireKat |
Posted on February 09 2012 02:32 PM
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Member
Location: United States
Posts: 1860
Joined: 2008-11-14
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Dyscalculiaphysicist,
You will never, ever, ever, ever be able to convince anybody that you are not worthless. And neither should you even try. People think you're worthless? Fine, then you know those are people you don't want in your life. If they know you, if they know anything about you, and they still think you're worthless, why would you want those people in your life? Why should you go through pains to try and change their mind? You would only be bringing their continued, life-long judgment upon yourself, because someone who will judge you like that for your math skills (of all things) will judge you for anything and everything else. It's not worth it.
What is important is that you know that you're not worthless. Your opinion is the only one that matters here, it's the only one that will ever matter. As long as you know that you are a whole, unique, talented individual then nothing else truly matters. I know that sounds very trite and almost Pollyanna of me, but it's the God-honest truth. Your opinion of yourself is the ONLY thing that matters at all.
If you personally feel that your view of yourself is skewed or warped by other people's perceptions of your abilities or lack thereof, then I would encourage you to seek a counselor in your school and talk to them about it. It can be hard to maintain a positive self-image when others are saying negative things about you, but once you learn to love yourself for who you are, then your self-concept isn't determined by what other people say. In the meantime, learning how to have a wild love affair with yourself takes time and guidance, so find someone who can give you that guidance.
I do understand what it feels like to have someone act as if you are less intelligent because you have a learning disability. But what they think doesn't matter. Some people who know I have a LD think I'm not as smart because of it. Other people who know me, and don't know I have dyscalculia, are shocked when they find out that I have it. They think that smart people can't have learning disabilities. I get to educate them and show them that their preconceived notions about LD are wrong.
So how can some people think I'm dumb, and others think I'm brilliant? It's because their opinions do not matter. If their opinions determined reality, then I would be a bumbling idiot half the time, and Einstein the other half of the time. Thank God other people's opinions aren't reality!
"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." - Eric Hoffer |
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| RottieWoman |
Posted on February 09 2012 02:38 PM
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Member
Location: No value
Posts: 3044
Joined: 2008-12-31
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<quote>".....I do understand what it feels like to have someone act as if you are less intelligent because you have a learning disability. But what they think doesn't matter. Some people who know I have a LD think I'm not as smart because of it. Other people who know me, and don't know I have dyscalculia, are shocked when they find out that I have it. They think that smart people can't have learning disabilities. I get to educate them and show them that their preconceived notions about LD are wrong......" <end quote>
'Kat - so TRUE, THAT!!
I really liked your post
Edited by RottieWoman on February 09 2012 02:39 PM |
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| dyscalculicphysicist |
Posted on February 09 2012 08:34 PM
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Member
Location: No value
Posts: 6
Joined: 2012-02-08
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Hello everybody, thank you for all the advice!
and to answer an earlier question It's mainly my peers that treat me like an idiot. I believe this is because they don't understand me. I don't have a large selection of friends (I'm believed to have Asperger's so socialising isn't that natural) but the friends I do have are very caring so they wouldn't make fun of me. My family are also very supportive.
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| squeakymonster |
Posted on February 09 2012 09:16 PM
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Member
Location: Munising, MI, USA
Posts: 788
Joined: 2010-10-09
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dyscaculicphysicist, then in that case, try very hard to ignore your peers. As someone who is socially awkward myself, I know this isn't always easy. I used to eat lunch by myself because my friends had different lunches than I, and I didn't fit in anywhere else. Sometimes, a relief was when I had to use my lunch time to go do an assignment or something with a teacher.
I'm NOT lost, I'm just taking the scenic rout! |
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| dyscalculicphysicist |
Posted on February 09 2012 10:22 PM
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Member
Location: No value
Posts: 6
Joined: 2012-02-08
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Hello squeakymonster (I like your name)
I do spend most lunch times in the physics room so thats good but it's the fact that no one seems to even believe dyscalculia is real which is sooo annoying especially in my school. |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on February 10 2012 04:38 PM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6102
Joined: 2008-05-25
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2/10/12
And let's face it,... when anybody treats us bad due to our LD, it's always a slap in the face and takes us a minute even to process what has just happened to us. I'm glad that you have caring friends and family, dyscalculicphysicist. That's something that not everyone who comes here can 'lay claim' to having.
Since I was doing a Fine Arts major, I sort of came across a reverse problem to yours,... When I'd say that I have a Math Learning Disability, the teacher and other students take that to mean that because we are all 'art students', we all have a MLD. One (non-dyscalculic) art student cheered that 'she too' couldn't do algebra. Then the teacher told me that he'd been told by the college to have the art students take 'math for non-math majors', and that that's what all his students take, and pass. I listened with interest, of course, but it was totally foreign to the teacher that someone wouldn't be able to pass that 'math for non-math majors' math course either. I explained, "I don't have to take any more math. My math credits are covered by a Logic class", and that I have a diagnosis filed at the Disability Services Office. 'Blank looks' from everyone there who was hearing me. ;) - jus'
Edited by justfoundout on February 10 2012 04:39 PM |
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| Ladyhawke |
Posted on February 11 2012 02:42 AM
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Member
Location: Canada
Posts: 144
Joined: 2011-11-18
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CheshireKat, that was the best post I have ever read on this forum. Thank you for that.
Algebra? When I learn decimals and fractions, you're welcome to try teaching me, but unless you have the patience of a saint and are very long-lived, good luck with that...  |
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| FeatherQuill |
Posted on March 18 2012 06:18 AM
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Member
Location: UK, South Yorkshire
Posts: 127
Joined: 2009-05-02
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Now that I'm out of school I no longer have deal with Maths (in the academic sense), it was horrific, frustrating and frightening at times. My difficulties certainly weren't helped by my dad, who wanted to help, but would usually end up shouting because he couldn't. 
The problem always seems to be (for me) those who can naturally retain a lot of information with ease, thereby being the perfect exam taking material (I know someone with one of those insane brains at Oxford) have difficulties comprehending that not everyone is the same. It's like an assumption they have 'if I can do it anyone should be able to.'
I hang around the BBC webpage a lot reading comments from the pubic, and whenever it is on the subject of maths or literacy there as nearly always a few along the lines of saying the country finds a lack of mathematic ability acceptable. I would disagree however, being in the lower sets at school was something to be ashamed of among my peers and in everyday conversation if I have ever revealed maths as a weakness I have sometimes found people seem to suddenly find me less intelligent as a person. |
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| justfoundout |
Posted on March 19 2012 01:34 AM
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Member
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6102
Joined: 2008-05-25
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3/18/12
So nice to see you again, Featherquill. We've had several new UK members arrive lately. Please stick around and help them? ;) - jus' |
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| shinybusa |
Posted on July 10 2012 09:32 AM
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Member
Location: wales ..uk
Posts: 26
Joined: 2011-03-22
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dyscalculicphysicist wrote:
Hello everybody.
One thing that really annoys/upsets me is the lack of understanding of those who don't have dyscalculia. On the rare occassion I decide to share with others the reason as to why I'm bad at maths, or why I don't like going to shops etc the overwhelming response I get is "that's not a real thing" or "you're still thick though". This impression that is given that if you can't do maths you're stupid is completely unfounded. It seems to me that those who don't have dyscalculia (a minority of those anyway) seem to believe that if you can't do maths you can't do anything at all and the overwhelming suprise they express when you achieve something is just insulting. I'm currently in year 12 (As year) and despite my good GCSE grades I'm still looked down upon just because my maths skills are poor it is extremely frustrating. I am sure those who have been in the same situation (or are currrently in the same situation) would agree. Does anyone have any tips to convince others that I'm not worthless?
Thanks.
Hello....
I'm showing my age here, but I was in the first year that sat GCSE's...excelled at english lit, history, geography but was in a REMEDIAL set for Maths..and got treated as the thick kid in all the other classes because I was crap at maths...
Don't let it get to you, I left school and went on to become a BOMB DISPOSAL engineer in the British Army and i'm approaching my 10th year as a police officer...use it to your advantage...really have a good look at the Disability discrimination act, and let employers know when you apply for a job...a lot will bend over backwards because it's a tick in the box for them and thay can safely say that they comply by employing someone with a disability.. |
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| RottieWoman |
Posted on July 11 2012 03:00 PM
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Member
Location: No value
Posts: 3044
Joined: 2008-12-31
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hi again, shinybusa, I think it's a good point you made about using dyscalculia to your advantage- |
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