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Hi Everyone,

I just graduated with my master in engineering. Got a degree in physics, bs in engineering and now my master in engineering. Been through all math/physics/chemistry courses but always knew something was wrong and I never questioned it until now...I kept thinking that once i grow up or once I go through more schooling, things will start making sense. Science will make sense. I got decent grades on my courses but I attribute it to luck, grading curves and team work (I could always count on my team members to do the logical thinking).

As I think more about having a LD, the more things make sense: not being able to count numbers in my head, not knowing where letters in the alphabet lie unless I sign the alphabet in my head, remembering how tough it was to learn to read the analog clock, not recalling facts that I should know by heart from how many times ive seen/studied them (in history/science).

Now I feel trapped, I have been in science all my life, I have spent a fortune in school and I feel it all has been a waste, like my mind doesnt get science/math even though that is all I have ever studied. I am looking for jobs in the only thing that I am trained to do while knowing that I cant perform.

I am so harsh on myself, call myself stupid and slow in my head but I know that I am not stupid, because I am able to recognize that there is a problem even if I am late. So in the past weeks Ive been trying to be kind to myself, to admit that there is a problem and to do what I can to remediate what I can.

I started selecting the areas for which I want some improvement to be content with myself: Basic arithmetic, General History facts, General Science facts, General Literature...to start with.

I created an excel spreasheet in which i generate random numbers and I add them up...but that is all i have done so far. I wish there would be a "do it yourself" guide to dealing with dyscalculia. I am not saying I want to be math genius...but I want to be able to go out to eat and make it easy for me to calculate 15% tip without sweating or taking out my fingers.

Something along the lines of "Do it yourself" - Survival tips for adults with dyscalculia: Tips to do math in your head, tips on remember dates and facts in your head, games to play to improve your skills...Why isn't there such thing?

I didn't even know dyscalculia existed until a month ago...I kept googling "I cant count" and looking for others with similar searches until I did and I am thankful but now I want to do something about it...I dont want to keep beating myself over this.

Sorry for the long post, I just needed to vent and put it all out there...I hope I can find others to relate to and/or to give me advice.