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Hey guys,

Thanks for all the thoughts of me :)

Ye I have applied for a Youth Worker volunteering role at my local community centre. Waiting on a reply and I get through I need to go for an interview and then fingers crossed I have the job. I was meant to be contacting the EDU- Employment Disability Unit this month as I was there in February and was told to do volunteering and come back in June. However I haven't done any volunteering yet. So I spoke to my CPN- Community Psychiatric Nurse and he says to wait till I have had at least 2 months volunteering before contacting them again.

I am still playing Badminton on Monday's and Swimming on Tuesday's. I have stopped going to the Tai Chi. I started going to Yoga but also gave that up. I also still get emotional support once a week from my Support Worker from Penumbra.

Unfortunately I am still living at home. Wish I wasn't. Mum and I are arguing a bit. I feel she treats me like a kid. We got some great news in March and April.... My Brother and his Girlfriend are having a baby due 22nd September 2012 and then they announced they are engaged. So everyone is happy for them. Also my Twin moved out of the house and in with her Boyfriend in April. She loves her wee flat. I am flat sitting in July when they go back to Poland for a wedding. My eldest cousin came back home with her family 3 weeks ago. They live in Canada. They came back for my Uncle- her Dad's 65th Birthday/Retirement Party. We had a ball. They arrived back in Canada today :(

I have just came out of a depressive episode thank god I am on the up. My Psych and CPN had said they couldn't give me any Anti-Depressant's as they may make me manic. I was really low.... suicidal at 1 point. But I managed through sheer luck really. My medication has been lowered as my hair has been excessively been falling out. It was really getting me down mroe so. So they lowered my Depakote. There has been talk of upping my Serequol and or me going on Lithium..... but I am refusing Lithium. I have also done a Crisis Plan just incase I need to be sectioned....... I really thought I needed it last month. I became paranoid that the police were watching/following me EVERYWHERE I went. It freaked me out, I refused to leave my house. But I know it was just my head messing with me all a long.

Oh have joined a bookclub which Penumbra has started up. Got my 1st book the other day. I have 3 weeks to read it so that's fine. Its a book on a boy who has Autism.... handy I know some things about it lol!

Oh ye and finally I think I was informed last week when I saw my CPN that my Psychiatrist is leaving in September and also our sessions may be cut as his manager thinks if we meet monthly then "the patient" is doing fine...... ARGGGGGGGH!!! This is sooooo not true!! Oh ye and he had a student nurse in with him too. She was asking me questions etc I really don't mind students as well how else will/can they learn if they don't experience things 1st hand. The last time well it was the 1st time for me to have a student sitting in on my session. I thought I was fine... but my CPN later told me I was VERY anxious and was speed talking oooops!!

Life is pretty boring at the moment. I'm at the stage now where I am sitting hypo-manic. I am very irrated and slightly agitated. But am doing fine on top of it all, so no-one knows anything or realises I am not fine at the moment. Hope I can keep this up. Getting roughly between 3 hours sleep a night up to 14 hours sleep a night. Its flipping crazy

Hope you are all doing good?